The world is full of idiots. You’re an idiot. Sorry but it’s true. But don’t worry, I’m an idiot too and unlike you…I’m willing to admit it.

I would go so far as too say that everyone (including me) slip in and out of idiocy every day without ever noticing the transition. No matter how smart you are, there are far too many things going on for us to be smart all the time. Statistically, it’s inevitable that we all will be idiots part of the time.

The World is Full of Idiots

Here’s a couple examples to prove my point:

  • A brand new CEO decides to take a stroll through the offices to prove that he really means business. He sees a man leaning against wall doing absolutely nothing. The CEO hones in and seizes this opportunity to show that he will not tolerate slacking. He approaches the man and asks him how much money he makes per week. The man responds that he makes about $800 so the CEO hands him $800, tells him he’s fired and points at the door. After the man walks out he turns to the other employees and says, “Now someone tell me what this guy’s job was!” Someone replies,ย “He’s the pizza delivery guy.”
  • Another CEO (probably related to our first) decided to offer bonuses at the end of the year if the company met at least 5 out of 7 company goals. When Christmas arrives, he announces that the company only achieved 4 of those goals and that nobody would be receiving any bonuses. One of the missed goals was employee morale.

It should be obvious from these examples that any dolt can be surprisingly successful. Ignorantly hand $800 to the pizza guy and you might be the perfect candidate to take over a company. But we’re talking about blogging today….not leading a company.

The principle is the same. We’re idiots. You’re an idiot. I’m an idiot. Don’t get offended. You know it’s true. How many times have you walked into a room and asked your spouse or a coworker where your keys or sunglasses were and they pointed at your hand and said, “You’re holding it, goofy!”?

We live in a world where any idiot can purchase a laptop computer for $500, start writing, and become the next big thing. I’m sort of hoping that this trend doesn’t change by the time I hit the publish button on this article. But then again, I guess it didn’t. Here you are reading this nonsense.

The Complete Idiot's Guide to Blogging

Seven Idiot-Proof Tips to Empower Your Blogging

So you came here for an idiot’s guide to blogging and that’s what I have to deliver for you. Even if you’re only moderately smarter than a walrus with down syndrome, you can build a powerful blog with the following rules:

  1. Write what you know. Some of you are writing about making mega cash online in the same way that someone might write a first-hand account of the Donner party based on their experience eating beef jerky.
  2. Use pictures of yourself. Nothing is cuter than those little organ grinder monkeys wearing a little vest and top hat. Go ahead and let people know what you look like even if you’re not as good looking as said monkey.
  3. Define your purpose. If you had a million of our little monkey friends typing on a million little typewriters then you might eventually produce something amazing like Shakespeare’s Hamlet and with the randomness with which some of you write that might be the perfect example. Hone in on something and go after it.
  4. Work hard and be good to your mother. Work hard and create the best content you possibly can, but in the end your mom is probably the only person who is going to your read your blog so be good to her. Maybe if you give her a foot rub you can double yourย page viewsย this week.
  5. Never look directly at the sun. They make braille keyboards (I assume), but I doubt it’s as convenient as being able to look at the screen and review what you’re typing.
  6. The grass is not always greener on the other side…and if it is then it’s probably because there’s a leaky septic tank in the neighbor’s yard.
  7. Write your blog address on your underwear. When I was a little kid, my grandmother (who basically raised me) always used to tell me to be sure to wear clean underwear because you never knew when you might be in a car accident and a doctor would see your underwear. With that same logic why not advertise your blog on there?

Okay, so you’re an idiot. Who cares? Get over it. We all are…even me. You can still be an amazing blogger and now you know how.

Nicholas Cardot

About Nicholas Cardot

It's my personal quest to enable every person that I can to unlock that dormant potential concerning their online influence. Also, I'm a geek.

27 Comments

  • Jim Clary says:

    Nicholas, that is a great article. I think that too many people are trying to write about Internet Marketing, instead of where there heart is. I have been reading your blog for years, and I think this is one of your best, thanks. Jim

    • Thanks, Jim. I appreciate that. To be honest, one of the main goals of this post was simply to break up the monotony and try to bring a smile to some folks.

      I agree with you whole-heartedly. There are a lot of folks out there practicing the fake-it-till-you-make-it online lifestyle. Folks think that the key to making money is to write about making money. It’s somewhat humorous.

  • Brad says:

    Say hey Nick!

    I thought this was a guest post when I read it. It didn’t read like your usual stuff. You injected some stand up comedy in there. I like how you switched it up. Very Cool!

    I’m in a good mood because some idiot that I delivered a pizza to, made me $800 richer, so I’m going to Tweet this post on behalf of all the idiots out there that steal the good oxygen.

    Here’s to you………all!

  • Diana Stevan says:

    A fun post including some gems. I love you pointing out it’s okay to be an idiot at times. You did say that, didn’t you? If I didn’t embrace my idiot side at times, I could get down on my self. We all have it. It’s what makes us human.

    • Of course it’s okay. I do it all the time. The truth is that we all do silly things, but that’s alright. We just need to keep our head up, learn to laugh at ourselves, and just keep on smiling as we move forward in our respective journeys. At least that’s my take on things.

  • Jonathan says:

    On what planet can I make 800 dollars per week, or 3200 a month delivering pizzas? Because that sounds like the planet I want to live on.

    • See. You just proved my point. I’m an idiot. Where in the world did I pull those numbers from?

      Hmmm. Oh well. I hope you got a good laugh out of at least something in this post. ๐Ÿ™‚

  • James Hussey says:

    Thanks. Now I need therapy, you called me an idiot 10 times. ๐Ÿ˜‰

    Hey, can you STOP DESIGNING things like tassels that make us all look like idiots? I mean really…

    Over-achiever.

    • LOL. Thanks. I have like 10+ hours on that slider right now, but that’s because in so doing, I’m recategorizing every post on the site into those categories listed up there and then I’ve been working on rebuilding those category pages so that they present both the newest and most popular articles for each category. But in the end, I think it will make it easier for folks to dig into the information and topics that they’re looking for. At least that’s the goal.

      To be honest, I just recently enrolled at DeVry, and I’m working to learn as much as I can about design and this blog is basically just my playground in that regard. Last night I was reading through HTML5: Up and Running (which I wrote a review on a couple weeks ago) and this morning when I woke up I was able to fix some bugs on the site from what I had learned. This whole learning process is just so much fun to me. I feel like the Black Eyed Peas: I just can’t get enough. ๐Ÿ™‚

  • I agree with @Brad, I had to go back up to see who wrote it!

    You had me audibly belly-laughing and with said belly, that’s sayin’ somethin’.

    #1 is already a classic.

    Far too often we take ourselves too seriously and think that what we’re putting out there has to be … so … perfect/powerful/impactful, and we think to ourselves, “Oh, ’tis a masterpiece!” and our pageviews … flatline.

    Oh, wait, what’s this “we” stuff. Crap, I’m an idiot. I’m sure I’m the only one who experiences this so I’ll just speak for myself and not spread the blame!

    Thanks for lightening the load.

  • Mel Melhado says:

    I’ve never read such an original, fun and informative post. I liked most, the mom idea, whether they like it or not they have to read it ๐Ÿ™‚ Really its so true, this world is not short of idiots. I really enjoyed reading a post filled with facts.

  • Nik says:

    I guess I need to change my job to Pizza delivery dude and find companies with stupid CEO’S ๐Ÿ˜‰

    To give some credit to the first CEO they had a target for company morale. That is an exception trust this idiot :p

    Nik

  • Scott says:

    Very funny post. I think my favorite tip is don’t look directly at the sun. Although… you may create your own niche as a successful blind blogger! Maybe you are on to something.

  • I do find it a bit offensive, waking up to being called an idiot ๐Ÿ˜‰
    Thank you for the wake-up call; nice article…

    By the way, I just love the (old) anecdote with the pizza delivery guy ๐Ÿ™‚

    • LOL. It’s alright if you’re offended. I’m equally offended at myself for calling myself an idiot. ๐Ÿ˜‰ I’m sort of thinking about giving myself a black eye over it.

      Seriously though, I’m glad you enjoyed it. It’s all in good fun.

  • ah hong says:

    LOL. I wish to be that pizza delivery guy. By the way Nick, I noticed that there’s changes on the font display. Looks beautiful and easy to read. Mind to share the font type you using? Thanks

    • Sure. I’m using a font called AftasansRegular as the body text here on the site and I’m using the @font-face to import it to all my users so that everyone can see it the same. I’m also using a font called Bowlby One for the titles of the articles. You can grab these fonts over at Font Squirrel and they’ll set you up with a kit to install them on your site if that’s something you’re trying to do. They’re both licensed for free use on the web.

      • ah hong says:

        Thanks for sharing the info, Nick. Really appreciate that. Not sure it’s my browser, it seems that your site CSS styling is not working when I click on ‘Reply to this Person’s Comment’ under my IE8?

        • I have stopped caring about IE8 and I no longer care. Only about 10% of my readers use it. Designers across the world despise Internet Explorer and you are missing massive portions of the online experience if you continue to use internet explorer. I no longer care because it is a HUGE hassle trying to get modern features to work in Internet Explorer. I highly recommend that you upgrade to any number of free modern browsers that support modern web standards. You can’t use antiquated technologies and expect to compete today. Check out Chrome, Firefox, Safari or anything else but Internet Explorer or you’ll always be met with disappointment whenever you view a website that uses HTML5 or CSS3 (both of which IE still fails to support).

          • ah hong says:

            Glad to hear that the problem happens on IE only. Wish to upgrade to higher version IE9 but it’s not feasible with Windows XP, I think it’s time to retire it from the box ๐Ÿ™‚

            Firefox is just too hunger for memory and usually I used it for Firebug and Google PageSpeed. I think the best candidate to replace IE would be Chrome. Fast and beautiful.

  • Akash Kumar says:

    Nice post Nick, really liked your example of the CEO of that company.

  • Frank says:

    Very interesting post. I like what you wrote in no. 7 Make sure to wear clean underwear. Its so funny. Who wears dirty underwear? lol

    Frank @ solar power for the home

  • Noel Addison says:

    This post is fun to read! Itโ€™s true that everyone is idiot in their own way and thanks for reminding that to us. Thank you also for sharing some simple, yet useful tips for blogging.

  • Hey Nick,

    nice fun article but on point #2, I don’t see your picture anywhere on this site?

    Shout out to all the monkeys out there – for a long time I ‘blogged’ as LTGMonkey an anonymous ID, now I’m me, pictures and all so I do agree with point #2 by the way,

    take care & best wishes,
    Alan

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